Tertullian, To His Wife Book II

I have done my best to lay out what a holy woman ought to pursue once marriage has been taken from her, no matter the circumstances, my dearest fellow servant in the Lord. Now we must turn to second thoughts—concessions to human weakness—prompted by the example of certain women who, given the chance to live continent after divorce or a husband’s death, not only threw away so great a good but also refused to remember the discipline even when remarrying, so that they would marry in the Lord above all. That is why my mind is troubled: I who recently urged you to persevere as a one-man woman and a widow may now, by merely mentioning marriage, make it easier for you to slip down from higher things. But if you are truly wise, you know you must keep what is more useful for you. What is difficult, and not without hardships, is also this greatest proposal of the supreme aid of life. I would not have needed to bring this up at all unless I had grasped how serious my concern for you is. For the greater the continence of the flesh that serves widowhood, the more excusable its failure may seem; what is difficult finds easy pardon. But to the extent that marrying in the Lord lies within our power, it is all the more culpable not to observe what you can. This is reinforced by the fact that the Apostle merely advises widows and unmarried women to remain as they are when he says, ‘I wish all to persevere according to my example’ (1 Cor 7:40), whereas concerning marrying in the Lord, when he says ‘only in the Lord,’ he no longer advises but openly commands. Therefore, in this matter especially, if we do not obey we are in danger, because neglecting what is advised goes unpunished, but what is commanded issues from authority and binds necessity; there liberty seems to sin, here contumacy seems to sin.