Tertullian — To His Wife Book II

1. Reasons Which Led to the Writing of This Second Book Very lately, best beloved fellow-servant in the Lord , I, as my ability permitted, entered for your benefit at some length into the question what course is to be followed by a holy woman when her marriage has (in whatever way) been brought to an end. Let us now turn our attention to the next best advice, in regard of human infirmity; admonished hereto by the examples of certain, who, when an opportunity for the practice of continence has been offered them, by divorce , or by the decease of the husband, have not only thrown away the opportunity of attaining so great a good, but not even in their remarriage have chosen to be mindful of the rule that above all they marry in the Lord. And thus my mind has been thrown into confusion, in the fear that, having exhorted you myself to perseverance in single husbandhood and widowhood, I may now, by the mention of precipitate marriages, put an occasion of falling in your way. But if you are perfect in wisdom, you know , of course, that the course which is the more useful is the course which you must keep. But, inasmuch as that course is difficult, and not without its embarrassments, and on this account is the highest aim of (widowed) life, I have paused somewhat (in my urging you to it); nor would there have been any causes for my recurring to that point also in addressing you, had I not by this time taken up a still graver solicitude. For the nobler is the continence of the flesh…

14. Therefore, when in these days a certain woman removed her marriage from the pale of the Church , and united herself to a Gentile, and when I remembered that this had in days gone by been done by others: wondering at either their own waywardness or else the double-dealing of their advisers, in that there is no scripture which holds forth a licence of this deed, — I wonder, said I, whether they flatter themselves on the ground of that passage of the first (Epistle) to the Corinthians, where it is written: If any of the brethren has an unbelieving wife, and she consents to the matrimony, let him not dismiss her; similarly, let not a believing woman , married to an unbeliever, if she finds her husband agreeable (to their continued union), dismiss him: for the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the believing wife, and the unbelieving wife by the believing husband; else were your children unclean. It may be that, by understanding generally this monition regarding married believers , they think that licence is granted (thereby) to marry even un believers . God forbid that he who thus interprets (the passage) be wittingly ensnaring himself! But it is manifest that this scripture points to those believers who may have been found by the grace of God in (the state of) Gentile matrimony; according to the words themselves: If, it says, any believer has an unbelieving wife; it does not say, takes an unbelieving wife. It shows that it is the duty of one who, already living in…

3. Remarks on Some of the Dangers and Wounds Referred to in the Preceding Chapter If these things are so, it is certain that believers contracting marriages with Gentiles are guilty of fornication, and are to be excluded from all communication with the brotherhood, in accordance with the letter of the apostle, who says that with persons of that kind there is to be no taking of food even. Or shall we in that day produce (our) marriage certificates before the Lord's tribunal, and allege that a marriage such as He Himself has forbidden has been duly contracted? What is prohibited (in the passage just referred to) is not adultery ; it is not fornication. The admission of a strange man (to your couch) less violates the temple of God , less commingles the members of Christ with the members of an adulteress. So far as I know , we are not our own, but bought with a price; and what kind of price? The blood of God . In hurting this flesh of ours, therefore, we hurt Him directly. What did that man mean who said that to wed a 'stranger' was indeed a sin , but a very small one? whereas in other cases (setting aside the injury done to the flesh which pertains to the Lord) every voluntary sin against the Lord is great . For, in as far as there was a power of avoiding it, in so far is it burdened with the charge of contumacy. Let us now recount the other dangers or wounds (as I have said) to faith , foreseen by the apostle; most grievous not to the flesh merely, but likewise to the spirit…

4. Of the Hindrances Which an Unbelieving Husband Puts in His Wife's Way But let her see to (the question) how she discharges her duties to her husband. To the Lord, at all events, she is unable to give satisfaction according to the requirements of discipline; having at her side a servant of the devil , his lord's agent for hindering the pursuits and duties of believers : so that if a station is to be kept, the husband at daybreak makes an appointment with his wife to meet him at the baths; if there are fasts to be observed, the husband that same day holds a convivial banquet; if a charitable expedition has to be made, never is family business more urgent. For who would suffer his wife, for the sake of visiting the brethren, to go round from street to street to other men's, and indeed to all the poorer, cottages? Who will willingly bear her being taken from his side by nocturnal convocations, if need so be? Who, finally, will without anxiety endure her absence all the night long at the paschal solemnities? Who will, without some suspicion of his own, dismiss her to attend that Lord's Supper which they defame? Who will allow her to creep into prison to kiss a martyr's bonds? Nay, truly , to meet any one of the brethren to exchange the kiss ? To offer water for the saints' feet? to snatch (somewhat for them) from her food, from her cup? To yearn (after them)? To have (them) in her mind? If a pilgrim brother arrive, what hospitality for him in an alien home? If bounty is to be…